"I know. I've always had the worst timing." I try to laugh, try to sound amused and teasing, but it's hard with everything I'm feeling.
The sun is high, afternoon not close to starting it's creep toward sunset yet. Everything is still despite how desperate things are. The city, most of it anyway, peacefully going about its business.
I'm not a religious person, never have been. I can't speak for others, but I know I won't be going anywhere when my body is finished. My soul won't be moving on to any higher plane. My energy will remain, change form, become something else, but that's all. If what I think will happen happens there won't even be a body left to decompose, to fuel new life that way.
I wish I had anything comforting to say to Kuroki. I wish I could continuing holding him until the world ended around us. Selfish, stupid, but I've always been that way.
Maybe Kuroki will find comfort and happiness with someone else this time. Maybe he'll start that family he used to talk about. He's not as young as he used to be, but he's not too old for it yet.
I pull back just far enough so that I can give Kuroki a damn proper kiss. It's not perfect, I'm sure it feels off to him, just like it doesn't feel quite real to me. But it's something.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-04-11 07:28 am (UTC)The sun is high, afternoon not close to starting it's creep toward sunset yet. Everything is still despite how desperate things are. The city, most of it anyway, peacefully going about its business.
I'm not a religious person, never have been. I can't speak for others, but I know I won't be going anywhere when my body is finished. My soul won't be moving on to any higher plane. My energy will remain, change form, become something else, but that's all. If what I think will happen happens there won't even be a body left to decompose, to fuel new life that way.
I wish I had anything comforting to say to Kuroki. I wish I could continuing holding him until the world ended around us. Selfish, stupid, but I've always been that way.
Maybe Kuroki will find comfort and happiness with someone else this time. Maybe he'll start that family he used to talk about. He's not as young as he used to be, but he's not too old for it yet.
I pull back just far enough so that I can give Kuroki a damn proper kiss. It's not perfect, I'm sure it feels off to him, just like it doesn't feel quite real to me. But it's something.