zawamecity | Welcome to Zawame City [open to anyone]

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Welcome to Zawame City [open to anyone]

A Shadow Line train is now arriving. Please stay behind the black line if you value your life...

My only escape these days is promising Mork that I'm seeking Darkness on my own terms. It's all she ever wanted, and so she chooses not to disbelieve me. That allows me freedom to take my Kurainer out. The idea is that I will find a city with suitable Darkness, that I can then swallow and create a new Shadow Town, and so on.

That isn't my real aim, though. Further even than seeking freedom, I'm seeking the source of Light. Not one Light in particular, but Light in general, the quality that makes things sparkle.

The easiest way is to let the Kurainer take me where it doesn't want to go. Which is how I find myself here.

Now arriving in Zawame City... Zawame City...

There is light here. Protection. Someone loves this city very much- it glows with a warmth that is familiar somehow, though I can't identify it yet.

Mork would be pleased, in her way. The brighter the Light, the deeper the Shadows.

I send the Kurainer away, and head off into the city to explore.

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I am not sure if he knows that he's leading us through the shade of the trees, and if so, whether he is in fact doing it on purpose, for me. It's interesting.

"I don't..." I shake my head at him, and can't help but laugh a little. "I don't want any ice cream."

I wish he could stay out in the sun more. He obviously prefers it, even though it hurts him. But maybe if he gets more practice, he'll find it easier.

"You don't want ice cream?!" I widen my eyes at him as we scurry along, horrified. "Who doesn't want ice cream? Are you sick?"

He seems quite concerned by my lack of desire for ice cream. It wasn't my intent, so I just shrug and finally tug my arm away from him, but I keep pace with him anyway, since there's no particular reason not to.

"I don't eat human food, Right."

He pulls his arm away from me, but keeps walking with me. It's so nice walking with him when it's just us. When he's not being yelled at to attack us already.

I know he could attack anyway.

But he hasn't. He doesn't seem to want to. And I'm wondering now just how many times he only attacked because he felt... obligated. There was a little stray dog who hung around at school sometimes. If you scared it, it'd growl, sometimes snap at you. If it thought you were going to attack.

If you approached it gently and quietly, sometimes it'd let you stroke its ears. It even had a sleep in my lap one time at lunch. I don't think I've ever had a lunchbreak before when I haven't been up and running around. It was weird, but nice.

"You want to try?"

I wonder what he thinks about, that makes his eyes gleam and glitter like that. What makes him sparkle? I know it's just who he is, but why is that who he is?

It's nice, this. It's like when we first met, at the amusement park. He and I spent a long time together, just the two of us. No ToQgers, no Rainbow Line, no vassals or constituents or Mork...

Which means it's only a matter of time before this goes sour, just as that did. But for now, I can enjoy it.

We arrive at... wherever he was dragging me, and I shift to stand fully in the shade, and shake my head at him. "I don't think that's a good idea."

He's watching me again, but it's nice. It's not as - as it is sometimes, when the others are around, and pushing him, and pushing him. That feels more as if I'm a thing. This feels more as if I'm a person he likes.

I point over at the cart, with all the pictures of the different treats on the side. "Will it make you sick to eat? If not, you really should try!"

I follow his pointing hand with my gaze, look at the pictures curiously, and then shake my head with a little laugh.

"I don't know. I've never tried. It might."

I look at the bright sun on the ground between us and the cart, and look back at him. "You stay here. I'll get you something," I promise, then I shoot across the gap between to the cart.

(I'm sure he could manage. He doesn't look like he's going to pass out, and he's pretty strong. But it's not polite to call attention to other people's weaknesses, and I don't mind doing this for him!)

He's moving away before I can tell him not to waste his money or time- I don't want any ice cream, and I can't fathom why he's putting so much effort into trying to get me to eat it.

I could follow him and stop him, but he told me to wait, and... I have to admit, I'm enjoying this.

No expectations. No trouble.

I wonder how long before someone finds us and wrecks it all.

I bounce over to the cart, order chocolate for me, and hmmm a bit over what to get for Zett. Something plain would be best, something that doesn't mess up his tastebuds or his stomach too much. But it should have some colour...

I settle on a cone with vanilla and rainbow sprinkles. It looks pretty and I hope it'll taste simple for him. This guy here does GREAT vanilla so I hope he'll like it!

I watch him as he interacts with the proprietor of the food cart. How he shines even when standing in the shade is something I will probably never understand. That's how it goes for me, anyway. How it's meant to be.

Still, I could walk away now. I could call my Kurainer and leave him there. He'd happily eat both of his... ice creams, and go on with his life, and maybe that would be the right thing to do, the better thing to do.

There's other sparkles, after all. But his...

His is the one I want.

He comes back with the ice cream and offers me something with a rainbow of colors sprinkled on top. I examine it curiously, and then look up at him, then mimic him, licking the ice cream curiously.

It's cold. And it tastes... But I can't identify what it tastes like. It's not as overwhelming as I half expected it to.

"Interesting."

He feels cool even in the shade. Refreshing. It's strange; when we're fighting, the differences between us sometimes jar at me, sometimes shake me, make me hurt.

But when we're just talking... it's nice.

He gives it a lick. Just because I asked him to. I beam at him, and take a huge slurp of mine. "It's sweet, huh! I love sweet food. I love savoury food, too!"

He stands very near to me, but within easy range of vision. He seems to be enjoying his ice cream thoroughly, and I have to admit, I'm not not enjoying what he got for me. It's just... strange. It feels unnecessary.

It doesn't sparkle.

But watching him as he eats his ice cream, as he tries to impress upon me the importance of ice cream in general... of food in general...

"It's something so mundane," I say softly, then take another lick of the ice cream to appease him. "And yet you sparkle just as brightly."

He takes another lick. He looks sort of bemused by it, but he's persevering, and that's really sweet of him.

I nod enthusiastically. "I don't - don't understand the sparkle, Zett, but the wonderful thing about ice cream and other food is that it IS so mundane. It's a little treat! Something special in your day! And you have to enjoy it, because it's not necessary, you don't have to eat exactly that at exactly that time, so why not get the most enjoyment you can out of it? It's fun to have little things to look forward to, little enjoyments!"

I lick the ice cream a few times more, and then tentatively take a bite off the top. It's cold and makes my mouth ache, but I kind of like it, when I think about it.

He explains the purposes of food, and of treats, to me, and I nod, trying to understand, to slot it into what I already know about him, what I've guessed, and what I can see when I look at him- what I see that no one else can. Not even other Shadows...

No one but me.

You spend enough time alone in the Deep Dark, and you start to see everything differently.

"It's hard to explain." I say quietly. "I wonder sometimes if maybe I've imagined all of it."

He's obviously not allergic to eating exactly. So that's good. I haven't killed him.

He even takes a BITE of it and doesn't wince, so his teeth can't be too sensitive!

I take a deep breath, and nod at him, grabbing his wrist to draw him to sit with me on a little bench. "Will you tell me about it? All of it? I want to understand."

He grasps my wrist once more and drags me a few steps aside. There's a bench near by, and it's in the shade, so I don't resist to sitting down beside him.

His question gives me pause, though, and I stare at the ice cream for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts, and the correct explanation.

"It's just something I can see. I spent a long time alone in the Deep Darkness... The pure Dark that gathers and deepens when humans undergo stress or sadness... Not just when caused to by my kind, but naturally."

I keep eating while I wait for him to get his thoughts together. I get the feeling sometimes like they didn't really have speech before, or something. There are some concepts that are really hard to talk about, and he seems like he can't quite find the right words.

"So it was like when we spend a lot of time in a dark room. Anything light seems really bright?" I ask softly.

"Hm. Like that, I suppose, but more... Different. Maybe, just for me."

I pause, take a thoughtful breath, find a trickle of cold on the back of my hand and turn it around to see the ice cream is... melting onto my skin. I consider it for a moment, then lick it off.

It's less cold that way, but it feels more regular. Like the Darkness that actually sustains me.

"It's not just light. It's Light, it's... Shining. I had never seen anything like it before... Before you. Before your home. I spread Darkness, it is as natural for me as... As breathing is, for you. It created me, sustains me, and protected me. But it was..." I pause. It feels almost... unfair to say the next part.

Mork has never listened to me, but she has, does care. In her own... strange way.

"Lonely."

He speaks, licks ice cream off his hand. It's a thoughtful action, and it makes me think again about how he doesn't know how to play. He keeps reaching for it, for fun, for love, along with his kirakira, but he doesn't get it.

I nod fervently, pointing at him, with my mouth full. I swallow hastily. "No, noooo, I get it! I do! You need friends!"

I huff a little sigh, and then frown at the ice cream, and offer it to him. I figure he won't mind- food is food, and he seems to love it.

"I have people." I say after a moment. "My nobility. They want to care for me, but they don't... Understand. About the shining. I haven't been able to explain it to them- or they don't care, I suppose. It's not what I'm meant for."

I lean over and swipe my tongue across his ice cream, and nod in appreciation. I wave mine at him too. Fair's fair, after all.

"Ah, but you need friends, yeah?" I nod at him. "They want to help you, but they really don't get it, so what you really need is friends who DO get it. Who make you feel relaxed just by being around them. Who want to play."

I peer at him, anxious and gentle. "Friends can be really nice to have."

He doesn't take the ice cream like I was expecting him too, he just licks it and then nods approvingly. He offers his to me, and it would be rude at this point not to, so I lick it, admittedly somewhat curiously.

Oh, it's very different. Still sweet, but a different kind of sweet, and the absence of the crunchy rainbow bits makes it different in that way, as well.

"I like that." I say softly, then huff and turn away. "Here," holding mine out to him again. "You eat it, I'm done."

I'm not sure how to address the rest of what he's saying. There's no time for 'friends', not when there's a whole world to subjugate. At least, that's what Mork thinks. Nero too, I think, though sometimes I think he also wants dearly to consider me a friend, or at least confidant.

"It's lonely at the top." I settle on something fairly ambiguous, and look away.

He takes a taste of mine, and says he likes it. I can't help but beam at him.

"Oh! Oh, that's what you meant. Okay, thanks!"

I take his, and start alternating licks. He's thinking, and I give him the space to do it. I'm peaceful enough eating! This is really nice sitting here with him.

(Almost like we can just be friends, and that's all.)

"It shouldn't be," I say softly, but with a flash of the anger I feel on his behalf.

I blink at him again, but he takes the ice cream finally, and I rub my hands together thoughtfully and watch him shine all the brighter with his enjoyment of his treat.

It's quiet. It's warm, even in the shade. This is... companionable, somehow. I need to cherish it while it lasts, because it certainly cannot last forever.

He sounds angry when he rejects my words, and I shrug my shoulder at him casually. "But it is, that is a matter of... Well, it just is."

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