[open to anyone, specifically seeking Takatora] Brave New City

[warintheextreme]

I'm an intelligent enough man to know I don't deserve to be alive.

I remember dying at the hands of Kumon Kaito. I remember the fall, and in fact, I even remember the impact. And I remember that, for everything and all of it, I deserved it.

There would be a new world, when someone found the Forbidden Fruit that Takatsukasa Mai had escaped with. I wasn't going to be a part of it, or so I thought.

The waking was... slow, and painful, and I deserved every moment of that, as well.

I don't deserve this new world, with it's new god, though I was the only one who knew for sure that this was the inevitable end.

Of course, it would have had to have been Kazuraba Kouta who would share the power of the Fruit with Mai-kun. If the power had been granted to Kumon Kaito, well. I certainly would not be waking up in this new world.

I was given a task, and with it told that it was the best way to atone for my sins- of which there are plenty, particularly when you consider 'sin' at it's most basic definition as the defiance of god's will, and here is a god in front of me who I manipulated and thwarted at many turns.

So, I have returned to my most basic of tasks from before the end and the new beginning- technology development. The Drivers had nearly all been destroyed in the climax of the old world, but Kouta would like them to be created once more.

It is with this done, and a Melon Lockseed in hand, that I venture out of my lab for the first time in... Since waking. Kouta is coming to meet me, or so he has said, to retrieve the Drive for Takatora- who I must admit, I am glad he's alive, despite everything.

Comments

[zangetsurider]

Since recovering from my injuries, most of my time is spent championing the relief and reconstruction efforts in Zawame, it is my full time career, now that Yggdrasil has been dissolved. I make no money from this work, but the Kureshima family has enough wealth accumulated from various generations to last myself and Mitsuzane through out lifetime, and very comfortably so. I do not mind extending our fortune to help those less fortunate in the city, those that still need to heal and rebuild after Helheim.

That is how I spend my working hours, overseeing reconstruction, making donations of both money and time to hospitals and schools, and occasionally helping track down those posted as missing on the Memorial Wall, to help reunite parted loved ones, or give closure to those that have been waiting to mourn.

My free time is spent primarily with Mitsuzane. Sharing meals with him, assisting him with his homework when it's needed - or just reading a book beside him as he studies, inquiring about his days. He tells me he has not rejoined the dance team he once hid from me, and I do not think he is lying this time. It concerns me that he doesn't do much by way of fun beyond his time spent with me, and the time he spends with Kazuraba. At least they seem to have repaired some of their former friendship.

I spend a fair amount of time with Kazuraba as well. We mostly discuss the recovery of Zawame, or Mitsuzane's well-being, but occasionally we discuss more casual things. Sometimes our conversations venture to memories of Helheim, of lock seeds and Inves, but we never talk about those old wounds for too long. And whenever we start to talk about departed comrades, Kazuraba is amazingly talented at changing the subject.

It's a Sunday, and Mitsuzane is home. I hate to leave him alone in the house - not that he is a child and cannot take care of himself, but because I do not wish him to be lonely - however I promised Kazuraba I would accompany him, though I am unsure about the specifics of this outing.

I say goodbye to Mitsuzane, and throw my jacket over my shoulders - I dress somewhat less formally these days, especially when I'm not working - before heading out to meet with Kazuraba.

[justlivemore]

I had thought about just picking up the Driver from the Professor, and delivering it to Takatora... But that would be just as hard to explain as the current idea, and at least this way I can be there to... separate them if something goes wrong.

The Professor doesn't know Takatora is coming. Takatora doesn't know that we're going to meet the Professor. This could end very, very badly... But I'm hopeful it'll be okay.

I just hope the Professor has enough of himself not to make it too obvious what all he knows about... Me.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for Takatora to look at me that way, yet.

"Hey, Takatora!" I wave my hand over my head as he comes out of the house, and head over to him. "How are you?"

[zangetsurider]

Kazuraba is waiting for me outside, waving to me as I finish zipping up my jacket. It's not terrible cold, but there is enough chill in the air that a jacket is not unwanted. I do my best not to mentally fret over weather or not Kazuraba is cold, and offer him a soft, but not unwarm, smile.

He seems as youthfully energetic as ever, and I once again have to remind myself that he has at least a few years on Mitsuzane. He is a good man, and, if I will allow myself to make bold assumptions, a good friend.

"I'm well. Mitsuzane has a mild cold, but I've managed to avoid catching it myself." I slide my hands into my coat pockets, granting myself permission to relax my posture. I tilt my head, eyeing Kazuraba curiously. "And yourself?"

[justlivemore]

I figure we can just walk. I asked the Professor to actually leave his lab, and meet us (me) in a park near enough to the Kureshima house, but not right in the driveway or anything like that. I doubt I could get the Professor that far from his lab, anyway.

I fall into a sort of rhythm with Takatora's pace- not quite keeping time with his steps, his legs are a lot longer than mine, but if I take about a step and a half for each of his, we stay side by side as we head down the street.

"I'm doing really well." I say with a grin.

I'm just really glad he came back. I left the choice to him, but I really did want him to come back and reconnect with Micchi, and it seems like that's happening, and I'm just so glad about it.

"I've got my job, at Bandou-san's parlour, but I've got another, part time work..." I leave it at that for a moment, scanning our surroundings, wondering if the Professor will actually be here or not.

Worried about how Takatora will respond. How the Professor will.

"How's the recovery project?"

[zangetsurider]

"I'm glad to hear it." I offer him another soft smile, then nod as he details how he's been keeping himself busy. There is still much guilt in me, concern for those that were the unknowing test subjects for the Sengoku Drivers. Having gotten to know Kazuraba, and after learning more about the others, I have come to regret many of the decisions I made regarding Helheim and its threat. It is something I still need to work out, something I still need to find atonement for, and hopefully eventual internal forgiveness.

Hopefully I will have the time to do so.

We arrive at a small park not too far away from my home, and Kazuraba seems to be scanning the area for something. It is not heavily populated do to the time of year and hour of the day, and I wonder if he is expecting a third party to join us.

"The recovery project is going slowly, but progress is being made." I breathe a small sigh, rolling my shoulders to hopefully relieve some of the tension from them. "I only wish I had the time and ability to do more."

[warintheextreme]

I am not sure what Kouta's greater scheme is here- perhaps he just believes that I need fresh air and sunlight. He's that type of person, after all.

I pack the Driver and the Lockseed up in the same sort of case that Takatora carried it around in originally. I'm not sure what Kouta is so worried about that he thinks the Armored Riders need to be able to transform again... But it's what he brought me back for, so I'm doing my best.

What I did not expect... Was to see him standing there, staring around, a bit gormless... Beside Takatora himself.

I am not prepared to face Takatora. I have spent too many hours alone since my revival regretting a massive portion of my actions before my death- Takatora could move to kill me and I wouldn't even have a right to defend myself.

Well, I can't exactly run and hide in the lab quite yet, but I take a moment to straighten my hair. It's long enough now that the whole bulk of it pulls back into the ponytail. The scarred streak from my childhood has widened significantly since my revival- stress related, no doubt.

I probably look about as presentable as I can, under the circumstances, and so I approach them with as much false confidence as I can find within myself.

"Kouta." I say softly. He turns to look at me, and gives me a sheepish grin.

"Hey, Professor. Thank you for coming."

[zangetsurider]

The last voice I ever expected to hear again is suddenly very close behind me, and it's so abrupt, so out of place, that I barely even register it as familiar for a moment.

But how could I forget that voice. Even only having spoken one word, I know who it is. I listened to that voice ramble on for over half my lifetime, once trusted its owner with not only my life, but the very survival of humanity.

A trust that I later learned, and learned the hard way, was deeply misplaced.

I turn a moment after Kazuraba, my posture rigid once again, my hands curling to fists in my coat pockets. I hope for a moment that I am mistaken, that I merely misheard the voice as the one belonging to my oldest friend and the man that tried to kill me.

But there is no mistaking that face, those clothes, and that posture. His hair is longer now, and he seems somehow even more thin and malnourished that before.

But he is very clearly alive.

"Ryouma," My voice is a strange mix of deadpan and a growl, and I stand wavering, torn between wanting to lunge at him, and wanting to turn around and swiftly return home.

[warintheextreme]

Well, I deserve that level of anger, though I do shoot a glance of thank you ever so much for the warning at Kouta. He shrugs one shoulder and still has that sheepish look on his face. He had planned this, then.

I sigh and wait for Takatora to turn around, searching his face. I'm not sure what for. I wouldn't blame him for anything he has to say to me, or if he were to walk away without saying another word. But he's obviously here at Kouta's request, and while I doubt Kouta has divulged the whole story... Well.

He trusts Kouta.

"Takatora." I think about asking him how he is, or commenting on how well he seems, but all of that... Well, I just don't deserve to be making small talk with him. "This is for you." I say, holding out the case.

[zangetsurider]

A dozen things rush through my head, a dozen things I could say right now, to the man that was once my dearest friend and most trusted ally, to the man that tried to have me killed, to the man that, as I learned later through tearful conversations with Mitsuzane, killed an innocent girl just so he could take the golden fruit for his own.

I stare at him when he speaks. I do not look at Kazuraba, but I can sense that his posture is mostly relaxed, that he doesn't feel Ryouma is here as a threat. In fact he is probably the reason that we have met in such a way today.

After a very long pause I take the case from Ryouma's hand. I don't have to look at it to know what it is, and to guess at what it contains. I carried a case of exactly the same shape and weight for so long because of him, because I refused to allow anyone else to be the first test subject for the Sengoku Drivers.

I don't look at the case, I just hand it off to Kazuraba, and then step forward to grab Ryouma by the collar of his consultation coat, yanking him forward until our faces are mere centimeters apart.

There is something different about him, something different in his eyes. Or rather, something deeply familiar, something I have't seen since long before his betrayal, since long before we began distributing the Sengoku Drivers.

"Ryouma." I let out a shaky breath, and drop my grip on his collar. My arms move to embrace him, and I wrap him up in a fierce hug, my cheek against his temple. I speak softly near his ear, my voice pained. "I thought you were dead."

I can't imagine he understands the weight of meaning behind my words, the layers to my statement, but I can't find the will to elaborate further just now.

[warintheextreme]

Of all the things I half-expect from Takatora, of all the things he could do and be perfectly within his rights to do, of all the things I think he should do but is maybe too noble or well-controlled to do...

The way he grabs me, pulls me close to him, and then pulls me against his body in a fierce hug...

That had not even made the list of possibilities, it is so far outside the realm of what was possible.

I choke on his words, my throat dry and my eyes wet. Hm. I haven't cried since...

Well, if I am honest with myself, since waking. I sobbed helplessly and hopelessly at Kouta's feet when he revived me. But other than that, tears are not one of my usual responses even to particularly emotionally driven stimulus.

"Takatora." I say again softly, clenching my fists for a moment before awkwardly lifting my arms to pat his back awkwardly. "You look... well."

[zangetsurider]

I do not wish to let go of him. If I let go of him, I may learn that this is a hoax, a foul trick played upon me, or that I am dreaming. I've had so many strange dreams since falling into my coma, both during, and then after waking...

But as long as I keep my arms around him I can believe that this is real. That he is real.

Eventually my upbringing gets the better of me, and I gradually pull back. I keep him at arm's length for a moment, searching his eyes once more, just to be sure, to be certain I am not mistaken in what I am seeing.

Finally I release him fully, and flex my hands at my sides.

"Well enough," I say this with a small laugh, breathless relief no doubt coming through in my voice. "Though I'm still recovering from the most severe of my injuries."

The ones from Mitsuzane, I think, but don't say. I do not wish to dig that up yet, eventually, but not now.

"And you?" I slide one hand into my pocket, trying my hardest not to stare at Ryouma, to take in every inch of him.

Where have you been? What were you doing? Why are you here now? Why didn't you find me sooner?

Why have to remade my driver?

[warintheextreme]

He holds tight to me for longer than is seemly, but I can't bring myself to pull away from him. I let him hold onto me for as long as he needs, I owe him significantly more than that but this is what I can offer in this moment. When he finally pulls away, I glance to Kouta for... I'm not sure what reason. He just inclines his head a bit, and I am very aware that Takatora does not know the whole story. He doesn't know about Kouta, and thus, he can't know about me.

I swallow and meet his question with a shrug and avoiding his gaze. "I am fine. I... evaded the worst of the carnage during the... the end." It's certainly one way of putting it.

[zangetsurider]

I nod at this. I know he had vast resources at his disposal, many even I did not know about, he obviously had some means of either fleeing the city, or keeping himself safe from Helheim during the final battles - of which I am still piecing together the details of, from various first hand accounts. There is much I still do not know.

"Where have you been since then?" I glance over at Kazuraba, still holding the case with contents I'm not sure I wish to address yet, but know that I need to.

I glance back at Ryouma, and gesture at the case. "And why have you rebuilt my Sengoku Driver?"

[warintheextreme]

I swallow a few times, and try not to give away too much of what I know, especially when I noticed Takatora's repeated glances at Kouta.

"I have been... Around." I choose not to elaborate too fully. "I have a lab, I am working on some... independent projects."

I do think Kouta should tell him the truth. If anyone deserves to know, I am certain it is Takatora. Especially since returning the Driver to him was Kouta's idea, and now I am being placed on the spot to explain why I would do it on my own.

"Because you need it. Cracks still open occasionally, and if anyone should have the power to defend others, it's you."

[zangetsurider]

Hopefully more admirable independent projects than you previously engaged in I think before mentally scolding myself. There is still bitterness, still the lingering aftershocks of anger, borne from his betrayal and his deceit. I need to - I wish to - trust him as I once did. Perhaps even more, now that we have been through so much, both together and apart.

So I simply give his words a small nod, and a low sound of understanding.

I do not understand why I myself specifically need to be the one to have my driver remade. I was not the most admirable of the Armored Riders. I made mistakes, so many mistakes. There are others, Kazuraba most notably, who would be better suited to have their driver returned to them.

"I'm not certain I'm strong enough for it anymore." I still suffer from headaches, bouts of dizziness, and fatigue from my time in my coma. And there are lingering pains, occasional stiffness in my shoulder, in my back, from my... fall.

[warintheextreme]

Takatora has plenty of reasons to distrust me. I don't blame him at all.

I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated still with Kouta for putting me in this position.

I sigh and shake my head. "I understand, though the, um. Many of the greatest errors with the original Drivers have been corrected and... Well, at the very least, I would like you to have it to defend yourself and Mitsuzane, if necessary."

I hesitate, and elect not to point out that I know his trouble will not last. He will make a full recovery, probably sooner rather than later, and especially in the case of something disastrous.

"I still have mine, too." Kouta chimes in, somewhat awkwardly. "I mean, you won't be alone with that."

[zangetsurider]

I glance at Kazuraba, offering him a small smile and trying to keep my weariness from bleeding into it. Knowing he has his driver is reassuring; there are few I trust as much as I now trust him. Real trust, not the blind trust I once placed in so many people that proved unworthy of it.

I look back to Ryouma, and he really does look like the Ryouma I once considered my dearest friend, my closest companion, and the keeper of my secrets. Minus the glasses, add in some age and weariness, but still so very similar.

I wonder how I appear to him.

"Ryouma," I move to take a step close to him, but stop myself. I'm not sure what I was about to say, what I want to say, or what I need to say.

"It is good to see you again." I settle on that, it's not untrue, and it is the easiest thing for me to get out at the moment, especially with Kazuraba near.

Not that his presence is unwanted, but there is... well he doesn't need to be exposed to all my awkwardness, and all the baggage I am Ryouma carry.

[warintheextreme]

I wonder if Kouta notices how damn weary Takatora is, how much of that weariness he's actually letting color his expression, his actions.

I know Takatora very well, even now, after everything. Maybe even better now, having been so thoroughly wrapped up in my own affairs to have been blind to everything else... And seeing now how much of a disaster that ended up being.

I nod, accepting his words and unsure what to say in return. I don't want to lie to him, and I suppose it is technically good to see him, but I can't say it's something I wanted, or was ready for, and so...

So.

I look to Kouta, who is staring at Takatora sort of wide-eyed, and then looking back towards me with the same expression.

"I should... get back to work." I say, somewhat awkwardly, and I stare hard at Kouta, because I think...

Well, I think Takatora deserves to know the truth, all of it.

And I also don't think Kouta is going to tell him.

[zangetsurider]

I don't miss the way Ryouma is eyeing Kazuraba, but I'm not sure if it is something I should speculate on, or if it is my place to question it. This is not an area where I posses any sort of authority.

"Ryouma," I speak before I can think on it, and then pause for just a moment to consider. I don't want him to leave, not when I've just found him - him - again. "Please wait."

I move back to Kazuraba, taking the case containing my reconstructed driver from him and giving him a respectful bow. "I may have to cut out time together short for now. Shall we meet at our usual time at Drupers tomorrow to discuss the progress of reconstruction project?"

With that settled, I turn back to Ryouma, doing my best to meet his eyes, though I'm not sure I properly succeed.

I gesture with the driver case, my voice quiet. "I wish to have you present the first time I test out this new driver."

[warintheextreme]

I pause with my back turned- I may even be half hoping he'll put a knife in it. I deserve nothing less... But he is merely holding me here, and I can't bring myself to refuse him outright. Not after everything I've put him through- and everything he's been through without me.

He turns to Kouta, and I turn my head to watch them both as Kouta glances at me, then turns back to Takatora with a wide smile and a rapid nod.

"No problem, no problem at all, I have some stuff to do anyway, and I may go see Micchi anyway, if that's okay..?" He's not actually asking Takatora's permission, but he's making it seem as though he is, somehow. As if Takatora, as if anyone could deny him whatever he wants.

Kouta departs with a wave, and a hasty, "I'll see you later, Professor!" aimed at me. I wave him good-bye and turn back to Takatora with a slight measure of hesitance.

"If you don't believe you are ready, physically, I won't... I mean, you shouldn't push yourself beyond your own limits."

[zangetsurider]

I give Kazuraba a small, soft laugh. "That's perfectly alright - and you don't have to ask to visit, you know you're always welcome at our home. Mitsuzane would enjoy seeing you, though please do take care not to catch his cold, and remind him to keep drinking fluids."

I'm fussing, but I have a feeling Kazuraba understands why I feel extra protective and concerned about Mitsuzane recently.

With Kazuraba gone, I turn back to Ryouma.

There is hesitance radiating from him. Good. I much prefer him to be cautious now than blindly confident.

"You said you corrected many of the errors of the original ones," I give him a slightly raised eyebrow, not meant to be judgmental, but meant in the way it used to between us, when we were still friends. When we were more than friends.

I glance down at the case, feeling the shape of the handle heavily against my palm. "It wouldn't feel right activating it for the first time without you there."

[warintheextreme]

"I did." I know he's not judging me (though he should), and he has always trusted my technological abilities above and beyond anyone else's belief in me. With the possible exception, now, of Kouta. Still, I can't blame him for being wary. "Not just the original prototype you first tested, but the later prototypes as well... If I have done my job correctly, this Driver should not cause undue damage to the user's base DNA."

I hesitate after that, unsure suddenly if Takatora ever knew that. That I created Inves myself, by causing the Drivers to have that much influence on their users.

"If that's what you like. Let me know when."